I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
