I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
