girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
