He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
