he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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