I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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