problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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