spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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