found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
