I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
