# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
