i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
