cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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