Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
