you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
