And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
