Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
