Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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