im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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