Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
