Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
well you can't waste a boner
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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