Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
