my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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