Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
