Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
