I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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