They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
