then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
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I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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