the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize