i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
