It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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