you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
