So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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