I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize