I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish you could order shots online.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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