ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
