meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
