Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
