eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
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Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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