wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize