You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
