Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize