Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
