is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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