So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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