Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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