please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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