i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
