that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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