Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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