he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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