Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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