It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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