"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize