The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
