Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
