I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is it penis luge time yet?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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