his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
