i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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