Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Pappa wants mamma naked
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
