what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize